If I have to make a five slide presentation for class, I’ll gouge my eyes out. If I feel like making a 12-slide meme on my own time, you best believe I will.
sometimes this post rolls back around and I make sure to reblog it to remind y’all that thinking that tumblr users are even remotely socially-justice superior and could be something like understanding human beings is a fucking mistake.
‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot
never mind please do come in’ AU
‘I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and
you step in and stand up for me’ AU
‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my
purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au
‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU
Hairdresser
AU
‘You’re my
regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU
“Rumor has
it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair
day so that’s why I’m here’ AU
Gift store AU
‘Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU
‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU
Florist AU
‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower
and give it to me’ AU
‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about
what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end
up giving me a lesson’ AU
Jewellery shop AU
‘You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you
loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU
‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met
you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU
Coffee Shop AU
I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your
barista’ AU
‘You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the
times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly
horrible ways’ AU
‘You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black
coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never
finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU
‘Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking
in’ AU
Bakery AU
‘Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your
appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU
‘Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back
out seriously just buy something already’ AU
Drug Store/Chemist AU
‘You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I
call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your
items were actually overpriced’ AU
Bartender AU
‘You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping
something into my drink’ AU
‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it
ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU
Teacher AU
We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how
many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three
years’ AU
‘Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’
AU
Writer AU
I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect
taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m
doing okay’ AU
Fast food Chain AU
‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re
batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU
‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you
hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the
cone’ AU
‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve
prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU
Corner Shop AU
‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and
one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU
‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6
gallons of milk why’ AU
Restaurant AU
‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so
nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU
‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start
your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful
businesses’ AU
Idol/Manger AU
‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU
‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama
and you practice at my expense’ AU
‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many
of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU
Firefighter AU
‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re
begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
“No that’s impossible
how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU
Sex Line Operator AU
‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very
soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU
‘I have a very
cute neighbour and very thin walls and
one day I call you and err your moans
are very synchronised with my
neighbour’s’ AU
And Finally:
You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your
drug den’ AU
•The site changes format ALL THE TIME WITH NO WARNING. BE READY.
•There’s a new meme every week and you’re just gonna have to get used to seeing it everywhere for a while.
•You are going to care more about social justice, feminism, different sexualities, and the safety of bees than you ever have in your life
•It doesn’t matter who you follow, PORN WILL FIND YOU
•If you get a message from a random person politely telling you to test out their game or visit their page at all, DELETE IT AND WALK AWAY.
•We all make fun of Superwholock fans’ inability to take a joke.
•No matter who you are or what you do, someone is going to find you or someone you know problematic (and I mean EVERYONE) don’t sweat it when it happens.
•Tumblr. LOVES. HALLOWEEN. Don’t question it.
DID SOMEONE SAY HALLOWEEN??
just accept the memes because they aren’t going to go away
don’t blog in public
the longer you’re here the more likely you are to become a shitposter
AngelMihe 