the signs’ iconic british quote

Aries: “excuse me please”
Taurus: “unexpected item in the bagging area”
Gemini: “dfs sale now on”
Cancer: “sorry can I just squeeze past, thanks”
Leo: “stick the kettle on will you”
Virgo: “I didn’t like it, I loved it”
Libra: “there’s only one way to find out… FIGHT!!!”
Scorpio: “bang and the dirt is gone”
Sagittarius: “get out of my pub”
Capricorn: “ooh banter !!11!”
Aquarius: “bloody hell”
Pisces: “i fucking hate david cameron”

How To Royally Piss Off The Zodiac Signs

Aries: Telling them to calm down, making them feel insignificant, underestimating them, bossing them around, being slow, trying to control them.

Taurus: Nagging them, saying something and then not following through, being rushed, expecting them to rearrange their schedule for yours, stealing their food.

Gemini: Ignoring them, not caring about what they have to say, lacking interest when they are discussing something profound, not letting them explain their side of things, being boring, being ignorant, distancing yourself from them.

Cancer: Being insensitive, giving them the silent treatment, rejecting their love, threatening them, criticizing them, leaving them unsure about where they stand.

Leo: Lying to them, taking them for granted, talking behind their back, embarrassing them, undermining their authority, not appreciating them.

Virgo: Touching or moving their things, interrupting them, being stuck up, making them feel unappreciated, looking through their things with out asking, giving them advice they didn’t ask for.

Libra: Pressuring them to make a decision, being disrespectful, generalizing or stereotyping anything, being unfair, making them feel inadequate, not giving them space.

Scorpio: Making them feel like a second option, giving them reasons to not trust you, dismissing their ideas, calling them out on their shit, getting in their face.

Sagittarius: Pushing them around, fucking up the second chance they gave you, exploiting them, invading their privacy, being a hypocrite.

Capricorn: Making them feel unwanted, Making them feel like their feelings are irrelevant, insulting their character, making them feel beneath you, not respecting their schedule.

Aquarius: Bringing unnecessary confrontation, not letting them do things their way, not giving them room to breathe, trying to change them, telling them their beliefs are silly.

Pisces: Making them feel like their emotions and feelings are unimportant, making them feel alone, being fake, telling them to “grow up”, manipulating them.

The Zodiacs’ Superpowers.

derpastrology:

Aries: Super Speed
Taurus: Super Strength 
Gemini: Can make Clones of themselves
Cancer: Healing Powers
Leo: Can set fire to basically everything
Virgo: Can bend gravity
Libra: Can grow super tall as well as super small 
Scorpio: Reading thoughts
Sagittarius: Can turn into an animal
Capricorn: Can see into people’s past
Aquarius: Can sometimes see the future
Pisces: Can breathe underwater 

So you currently have a crush? A few tips, if you have a(n)…

derpastrology:

ARIES CRUSH : Take a bold approach, Aries will appreciate your forwardness
TAURUS CRUSH:  Give subtle compliments, and soon your Taurus will be showing you just how satisfying a relationship can be (wink wink). 
GEMINI CRUSH: Be elusive, seductive and always slightly out of reach. A Gemini loves the chase. 
CANCER CRUSH: Shower your Crab with kindness – and prepare for it to come back at you times ten! 
LEO CRUSH: Give your Lion the spotlight. They will share it with you.
VIRGO CRUSH: Come looking flawless. The perfectionist side of your Virgo will be drawn to your attention to detail. 
LIBRA CRUSH: Express your interest in fine arts and literature. Your Libra loves music, art and poetry.  
SCORPIO CRUSH: Share all. Your Scorpio will want to know all your hidden secrets, feelings and desires. You can certainly trust them,
SAGITTARIUS CRUSH: Be enthusiastic, energetic and ever ready for adventure. 
CAPRICORN CRUSH: Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. Really, really good things. 
AQUARIUS CRUSH: Surprise them. Give them a Venus Flytrap plant, a hypnotic 3-D poster or a hand-woven Guatemalan sweater 
PISCES CRUSH: Be sensitive. Be romantic. Your Pisces will appreciate it. 

Things you should know about every sign.

♈ Aries: Aries are generally very innocent creatures. There are two sides to their inner world: a world full of hate and a world full of love.They can understand other’s problems quite easily.
♉ Taurus: Taureans do not forget past injustices, and they also remember their past pain as well— and will remind you of it. The tragedy with a Taurus is that their pain is just as fresh today as it was the first time.
♊ Gemini: One Gemini girl equals several women. Though they suffer alone, Geminis will always try to look optimistic and happy in front of others. There is intelligence underneath the scatteredness.
♋ Cancer: Life doesn’t stand still for this sign, even if they remain in one place. Their link with the Moon often makes it impossible for them to operate on an even keel from day to day – emotions are unsteady, unstable;
♌ Leo: It is easy to crush them with coolness. It takes much courage and energy to radiate so much, and they need lots of love and smiles from others to keep it going.
♍ Virgo: In times of distress Virgos tend to become very unnatural, so they confine themselves in their own world and ignore the people around them. Virgos are well-aware of the coldness they’re portraying to others during these moments, yet they are unable to change or control their mood so they choose to hide in their bubble.
♎ Libra: Libras are always trying to control their emotions and are very capable of keeping feelings in check.They often feel alienated from their own heart because they have distanced themselves from their inner world
♏ Scorpio: Scorpio have their natural defences up. They see the world is a dark place and are simply protecting themselves. They have trouble managing their intense emotions.
♐ Sagittarius: They will portray a very independent and happy image, seemingly unaffected by their unfortunate situations. Seeing their optimism, others may think that they are indifferent, as Sagittarius will never show how much they are suffering.
♑ Capricorn: Capricorns rarely feel that they are accurately portrayed by their star sign definition. While it is true they put themselves to work, have a determination to succeed, and possess much strength inside a caring heart – it is hard for any of the other sides to grasp the complexities going on in their minds; they can’t explain it. and even if they could – we wouldn’t understand it.
♒ Aquarius: Aquarius feel very helpless when they realize that they’ve grown emotional towards a person. It’s the only thing that makes them lose their rationality and they become lost in the feeling.
♓ Pisces: Being kind is their preferred way of life since it is adaptive, effortless and gains them respect easily from others. They understand this very well, so they use compassion to deal with most situations.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started