Mother/daughter relationships and Steven: Expectations.

stronger-than-thou:

The first 2 episodes after the 3th Steven Bomb have had a very distintc theme: The vicissitudes of the complicated but always neccessary relationship between a mother and (in this  case) their daughter with a very distinctive undertone: Both mothers are controlling and overwhelming. (I have a point, i swear)

1) First we got Dr. Maheswaran and Connie: They exemplify the relationship of a very strict, helicopter mother and their- as a result of that behaviour- shy, perfectionist and secretive child.

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We saw Connie going from a minimized version of her true self on Bubble Buddies, to a very much realized, much liberated Connie in Nightmare Hospital. She always had it in her, but it took her the support of a friend her age in whom she could trust to bring all of that out. But, while she evolved, her parent’s didn’t and her mother remained too controlling. Now, Dr. Maheswaran’s intentions were noble: by “knowing her daughter” she made sure that the least amount of pain and failure possible made it into Connie’s life. She was ensuring a life of success for Connie so she had her own financial stability and mental health to rely on once mom wasn’t around anymore.

But Connie was actually crushed under her Mother’s (well, her paren’ts actually, but the relationship developed on screen was with mom) expectations. And that is the keyword here: Expectations. She had to be a good girl, play de violin, play tennis, be a diligent student, while she’s only what? 10 years old? Those are lots of responsabilities, even for a inherently responsable child.

2) The second relationship is between Sadie and Barb: 

Now these two have a very interesting dynamic. You’d think Barb is a lot more relaxed than Dr. Maheswaran, in terms that she doesn’t really expects Sadie to keep a very tight activity schedule and be interested in lots of different things that will make an integral education. No, she has a diferent kind of controlling: She’s an over enthusiastic mother. She’s a sea storm,  a force of nature in her daughter’s life.

She’s so proud of Sadie, just for existing. She loves her to Jupiter’s moons and sees all the wonderful of Sadie, and wants everybody to appreciate that too. In a sense, she expects Sadie to share her greatness with the world. The problem? Sadie doesn’t wanna, she can’t meet her mother’s expectations.

Barb expects Sadie to be GREAT at something. Anything. But in the process of providing her with the means to be the best at whatever she wants to do, she forgets the actual Sadie and what she can and wants to do. She sees her daughter through the eyes of love and forgets to check how Sadie is actually like.

She buys her stuffed animals and remembers fondly her ballet year (this is a sign that she still sees Sadie as a little girl instead of the teenager- young adult she is) and all her bedroom is super bright while Sadie is a more low-key person. More importantly, Sadie is the kind of person that does The Thing because they feel like it. She doesn’t expect it to become anything more than a hobbie, a means to relax and relieving stress. Barb sees it as an opportunity: Her daughter WILL BE THE BEST at something. She’s competitive and wants Sadie to find Her Thing. But the issue here is, not everybody has A Thing. Not everybody wants to excel at The Thing, and that’s ok. Barb places expectations of greatness in Sadie while still trating her like a little girl in the process of taking over her interest and colonizing it.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO: STEVEN. Or “I will fight to be everything that everybody expects me to be when I’m grown.”

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My theory (which is kind of cracky but bear with me) is that nothing on this show (except for the fusion’s designs) is fortuitous. So, why focus two entire episodes of an already defined plot on mother/child relationships? I think this is a kind of foreshadowing of something bigger, The Ultimate mother/child relationship we’ve seen developing on the show since episode 1: The relationship between Steven and Rose Quartz, directly linked with the Expectations placed upon him by the Shadow of his Mother.

Now, I don’t think Steven will ever meet Rose outside the context of a memory or maybe a vision (like the one on Rose’s Fountain), or stories told by new characters yet to appear, but even without meeting her, Steven has an already complicated relationship with his mother.

  • First, he deals with the fact that she’s absent from his life, but not quite. He never met her, tlked to her, was held by her. He has no idea what his mom was like in the tiny details that make you state that you know a person.
  • But she’s always there. She lives inside him, and actually, he’s so much like her and everybody tells him so. I see a lot of Harry Potter in him. While Steven is delighted at the comparisson most of the times, he’s been feeling off because all the people who point that out is people who loved and are still grieving Rose Quartz. They still love him, but he’s only “like” her, he’s not actually “her”.
  • As a direct result, he’s expected to be everything she was, even if the people don’t mean to.  He’s expected to be as strong as she, as powerful as she was. A lider, an strategist. The One to turn to in times of despair. But he can’t be all that, because he’s half humand and he’s NOT his mother, and he’s 10 years old. He’s not that powwerful yet. He can’t make the cut line. He can’t reach the expectations.

  • The identity crisis this boy must have. 

So, my point is, we’ve been fed tiny samples of the vast and complicated universe of mother/child dynamics because at some point on the show there will be Steven’s turn. He will have to face his mommy issues and will have to come to terms with who she was and who He is.

Actually, he’ll have to fave everybody’s issues related to Rose’s death to make sure that hell no, he’s not Rose. He’s different, not better, nor worse. Just Steven. And he’ll do things the Steven way and people will have to realize that Rose isn’t there anymore, not like they hoped she’d be.

At some point we’ll know more things about Rose. Maybe not so good things. Maybe she has a complicated past and why not, everybody is entitled to their mistakes and doesn’t make them any less of a good person. But the image of Rose Steven has, the one in which all expectations are founded will eventually crack. By learning to see his mother as an integral and whole individual instead of the perfect idea they’ve planted on him, Steven will define his own identity and will eventually fight for whatever the heck he wants to fight, freeing himself from his very own overbearing mother in the process.

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